A Foundation Laid

Hello everyone! It has been a while. Life got very busy and I, honestly, did not have the mental space for writing on this blog. But things have slowed down and I have settled into my new life in Independence, at least more so than when I first moved a few weeks ago now. A lot has happened between "When Mourning Comes" and now. What has happened in that time?

1.) CCF went on their Spring Break trip and it was a stepping stone to saying goodbye.

2.) The semester ended and I said goodbye to many college friends.

3.) Elizabeth went to camp to be a counselor for six weeks of the summer.

4.) We both moved to Independence at the end of July.

5.) The first three weeks were really hard being in a new city with few friends and no community.

6.) We found a church we really liked

7.) Last weekend, I went to CCF's men's retreat and got to spiritually refresh with old friends and God

As you can tell, life has been busy. To focus in on one aspect of this move, I want to talk about the first few weeks here in Independence. That was one one the hardest changes of my life. Without going into full Shane lore mode, CCF and college is where my faith really came alive. I had a relationship with God like never before and a community that I loved like no other. It was home for five years. That's hard to just uproot. I live in an apartment by myself and that's a good thing because I am well past the point of roommates now. But it was lonely and in the quiet space, I was confronted with my pain and grief loudly. It was difficult knowing that it really sucked having no community and, when I would eventually get one, that it would be nothing like my college community. The only real friends I had were at work and, well, we all know that most working relationships just are not that deep. I work from 12-9 most days and the days I don't are not even weekends. Life just felt like it had pushed me down and kicked me for good measure.

Through all that though, I knew God would bring me through. It was a hard tension to exist in. I knew God would bring me through this pain and find me a community, I had never been more confident in that. And yet, I had to be real and honest with myself and Him that this sucked and I could not see the way forward.

That has been the first three weeks, and I'll be honest, not much has changed. I still work 12-9. I still do not have an established community, and my friend pool is limited. And yet, I feel a lot better and more stable here. Some of that can be attributed to time, but now I have found a church out here. We went there for the first time 3 Sundays ago and fell in love with the place immediately. This felt like a community that not only wanted to be at church, but also, a church that wants to put the world back together. It feels like it has the ingredients of CCF and my old community with a new, adult life flavor. We, unfortunately, are busy for the next several weeks so we won't be attending soon but it gives me something to look forward to when it all slows down again.

With all that, like I said, things are not that different and yet they are. God has been laying the foundation for the past several weeks and I can see that now. This was always going to be the most difficult part. It can be hard to imagine what the house will look like when there is no foundation, which can be a cause for worry. God knows this, we cannot see what is ahead like He can. But now that the foundation is laid, perhaps the way forward is becoming clearer. I do not know what is ahead exactly, but I can see God's work already. Which, for God's timing, is remarkably fast. I praise Him for the speedy work. I know that whatever is ahead, it will be to remind me of a good story. That the world is made good and he is looking to redeem it, and I can partner with Him in that. God has laid a foundation, and I am excited to see the house he builds over the next month, half a year, year, five years, and for the rest of my life. It will be good and I will be better for it. Not just for myself, but for the whole world who is yearning for God to lay foundations for them. My prayer and hope is that I can be apart of that for others.

Lord God, King of the Universe, be with those who need foundations laid.

-Shane